


Bunny

by pyromanicofthesea



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: just some harmless fun among dangerous criminals, mind control schinanagans, old fic from my abandoned tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 09:36:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11620875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyromanicofthesea/pseuds/pyromanicofthesea
Summary: Edward is a crafty bastard and Jervis just wanted to get some work done. All of which, at Jonathan's expense.





	Bunny

**Author's Note:**

> Story derived from: [this picture here](https://askriddleandspooky.tumblr.com/post/150805316091/battlebunny-crow-remember-that-time-hatter-used) that was drawn by [askriddleandspooky on tumblr](https://askriddleandspooky.tumblr.com)

Edward had been reluctant to open the door, but the insistent and near constant buzzing of the doorbell wouldn’t cease. He knew who was behind the door. Jonathan had told him a few hours earlier that Jervis would be staying with them for a few days. Jonathan had insisted that the man’s assistance on an experiment was absolutely necessary. That meaning that Jervis would be on the receiving end of Scarecrow’s twisted toxin at least half of the time he was here. Edward simply said that he wouldn’t share a bed with two men at once; he knew better than to try and interfere with something involving Jonathan’s work.  
“Aren’t you going to answer the door?” Jonathan had been in the kitchen, but was now looming over Edward. “It’s rude to make a guest wait.”  
“He’s your guest, not mine,” was Edward’s only reply.  
“I ask that you don’t be an ass the entire time.” Jonathan went to open the door. Edward could tell the precise moment, not because of the halt of the doorbell, but because of Jervis’s Alice in Wonderland related greeting.  
“Hello, March Hare!” Jervis beamed up at Jonathan, seeming to be utterly ecstatic. Jonathan returned the smile, though his was much smaller. It was the smile Jonathan reserved for friends, and was the smile Edward insisted would look adorable on anyone other than Jonathan. According to Edward, that smile was unnerving when it belonged to Jonathan. Jervis seemed to be unaffected by it.  
Jonathan invited Jervis inside, eager to begin working. Jervis, however, was fascinated by almost everything in the home.  
“Dormouse!” Edward received his own greeting once Jervis realized he was lounging across the entire living room couch.  
“Hello, Jervis.”  
“I will be in the basement whenever you’re ready to begin,” Jonathan told Jervis, just before he headed down. Edward glared at Jonathan, who he knew was leaving him and Jervis alone on purpose. Once Jonathan was out of earshot, Jervis sat down beside Edward. He looked nervous, almost to the point of trembling.  
“Professor Crane had invited me over for experimentation, and I was lead to believe it was to improve my work,” Jervis admitted to Edward. “So I had brought these.” From his pocket, Jervis pulled out several of his card-disguised mind control devices. Edward picked one up and examined it as Jervis continued. “But now it’d appear as though the dear March Hare intended for me to be the experimentee in his own research!”  
“Hm? Oh yes, Jonathan does that a lot. Experiment on other people, I mean,” Edward said, only half paying attention. “You know he’s not technically a professor anymore, right? You don’t have to be so formal when you’re talking about him.”  
“Yes yes, I know I know.” Jervis waved off Edward’s comment entirely. “What am i to do about my own research, though? I shan’t leave here empty-handed; oh but the March Hare seems to be so set on carrying out his own sort of research. Presumably upon me!” That was when Edward crafted an idea.  
“Jervis, maybe you could carry out an experiment or two of your own still.” Jervis nodded for Edward to elaborate, his curiosity peaked. “Well, Jonathan is the March Hare, after all. Perhaps you should test to see if Jonathan is truly the March Hare.”  
“I’ll begin at once!” Jervis had caught on fast, and Edward smiled at the thought of Jonathan acting outside of his and the Scarecrow’s characters.  
“Call me downstairs when you’ve hooked Jon.”

Edward was all but summoned twenty minutes later.  
“Look, Dormouse, look!” Jervis was nearly giddy. “Oh happy days, it’s worked, it’s worked!” Sure enough, Jonathan was sitting on the basement floor, looking lost. One of Jervis’s cards was balanced neatly behind his ear.  
“I have an even better idea, wait here.” Edward disappeared up the stairs. He returned with grey fake rabbit ears. He fixed them onto Jonathan’s head, and bit back a laugh. Jervis clapped at the sight, loving that his March Hare looked closer to an actual hare now. Edward was enjoying this as well, as Jonathan looked nothing short of ridiculous.  
“Oh March Hare, a spot of tea would do nicely now. Off you go.” At Jervis’s command, Jonathan got up and went upstairs to make a pot of tea. Edward was bent over laughing once Jonathan had left. Jervis was a bit confused as to what Edward found so funny, but he was glad to see his friend is such high spirits nonetheless.

Jonathan woke up on the couch, feeling as though he was missing many hours.  
‘Scarecrow?’  
_Don’t look at me, I’m just as confused as you are._  
“Edward!” At the sound of his name, Edward ran up the basement stairs.  
“Yes, bunny?” He had only worn a wider grin twice in his life prior. Jonathan was oblivious to the connotation of the new pet name. Jonathan gave Edward a look, and Edward realized what he was questioning rather quickly. “You had fallen unconscious. It really freaked Jervis out.” The lie was acceptable at best, and Edward was fully aware. “I guess that still gives way to what he’s afraid of though. That is why you invited him over, isn’t it?”  
“Yes. It’s quite a shame that I wasn’t able to witness the results. Is he still around?”  
“He’s downstairs waiting for you to recover.” Jonathan headed down to the basement at once. Not even ten minutes later, Jervis’s horrified screaming filled the house. Edward decided now was the best time to meet up with Selina for a drink or two.

Jervis stayed with Jonathan and Edward for three more days, though the experiments of the first day were the only experiments that either of them performed. The other three days consisted of Edward calling Jonathan ‘bunny’. Sometimes Jervis would get it, and bite back a laugh. Other times, he’d just look at Edward, confused. Jonathan didn’t remember anything that has happened when he ‘became’ the March Hare, and neither Edward or Jervis were going to say anything. Naturally, what Jonathan didn’t know wouldn’t hurt the other two.


End file.
